You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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