He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
this is an emotional support booty call
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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