I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
worst night to have a conscience
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
