We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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