Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
