is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
