I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
