Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
