So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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