4 words: hood of his car
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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