I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
