I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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