At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
