she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
