Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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