OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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