I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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