Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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