Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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