i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
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Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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