so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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