We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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