Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
