the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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