I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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