He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
