i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
