Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
