Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
