I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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