Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
