i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
