susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
