They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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