i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
