she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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