My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
