I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
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Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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