I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
