when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
