Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
