so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
