THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
