I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
