Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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