Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
