so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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