I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
