I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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