You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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