how hairy? two words: wookie tits
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
