I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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