Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
