The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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