We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
