So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He better not be in your backpack
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize