McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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