there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
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I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
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I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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