just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
