i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
