im drinking this country out of the recession.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
