I wanna bring you to show and tell
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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