the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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