Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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